useless

terasa ketidakpandaian kemelampauan bila nak buat projek etp ni. macam semua benda aku tak tau. what have i been studying for the past two years. I DONT KNOW. hate it.

them

have this two good friends, erm better call them adik2 kot. great friend of mine. always be there when i'm up and down. pretty sure will miss them a lot when going for internship next year. thx for being a good listener, bullies, troller of mine. hewhew.

father's day

i've never celebrated father's day or mother's day before. I started to celebrate and expressed it after high school. Usually during high school i just call ibu or ayah and say Happy Fathers/Mothers Day. Eversince i've grown up, kitorg adik beradik start to celebrate it. But it was too late. Ayah is not with us anymore. How i wish i can say to him how much i love him and how meaningful his presence.

happy fathers day, ayah. thank you for make me always ur favourite princess. Al-Fatihah

etp

almost week 5. i hope our project will going smoothly. seriously. worried with a lot of things. macam mana kalau tak jadi? :( hmm, hmm. and how come an electrical eng-to-be have to do project designing? should change course i think. hewhew.

others group seems have progressed well. some of them had bought their materials. its okay, we'll do it soon. all iz well.

my budak gemuk going back home this week. tak aciii. nak balik jugak.

can we talk?

rindu nak berbual2

but i undrstnd

if u dont want to.

tc

.

its been knocked. for sure.

but doesnt mean anything. yet.

she did it! :)

ohoi, my little budak gemuk is going to egypt soon. i'll miss u a lot budak gemuk. you have to be very independent there. thats will make you a grown up lady. just like me. hewhew. no, you have to learn and face everything by yourself. ibu cakap you have been in a comfort zone. got license tapi tak berani bawak kereta. you cannot manage all your application form. nak kena tunggu kena marah baru jalan. and awak tak reti masak. hikhik. well, eventhough aku pun takde la pandai mana, tapi aku tau at least aku reti la masak yang simple2 kan. hikhik.

just to let you know, i'm proud of you. eventhough i didnt get the opportunity to fly like you did, but its okay. at least someone manage to fly. no more drama air mata okay? hugs and love; xoxo

?

u know how is the feeling when everyone who knows the story of u and the other person stares at u like u have killed someone?

u know how is the feeling when everyone seems to blame u although they heard nothing from your side?

u know how is the feeling when everyone also being in the awkward and tense moment although it suppose to be between u and the other person?

u know how is the feeling when u are afraid to the other person just like a few people that afraid to the other person?

u know how is the feeling when u have to accept all the shoots and provoke from everyone and the other person, perhaps?

u know how is the feeling when u have to pretend nothing happened but it did happen?

i dont mind if these happens between me and the other person, but it gives impact to me  when everyone who knows and 'sibuk jaga tepi kain orang' put their hands in. i'm not running from reality in fact i'm always choose to be honest to the people that close in my life. but, when i feel insecure, unsafe, afraid there will be no room for me to stand and fight for myself. cuz i just dont feel secure.

yes, i hurt the other person. yes, i dont consider the other person's feeling. yes, i'm a bad girl. yes, please put the blame on me. silakan.

i was planning to ask the other person out for breakfast last monday. but when he shows 'a word response from a question' i stopped. i'm afraid. ain is stronger to face this. if she can face a bigger musibah 3 years ago, she should be fine with this.

take a deep breath and smile :)

so long, fare thee well

the dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell

so turn down this bed on stone

quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong

the long december rain is falling down

running down on streets to nowhere

music is my life you're my sweetest nightingale

but i can't hear it here no more

and i go

i go

hush now don't shake or break

words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave

no matter what they do or say

lay me on the sleepy meadow by the tracks upon your face

melt

am i consuming too much sugar lately?

hmm, too much watching dramas i guess

after all, that was such a good drama

way better than korean drama

cuz the best one are still malay drama

something that really close to our lifestyle

M E L T

ignore this cheesy post

post from someone

that consume too much sugar

at late night

and cant sleep

twenty-forth day holiday

waah. its been a month holiday. i realize one thing. i spent too much time at tronoh with all my friends. and yes i miss them. miss lepak with them, having friends to talk with, gossiping. i mean it. everything. well, i've to go back to utp last wednesday and yet i think that was super duper exciting!

thanks to mr director of robocon 2012 for picking me up at post guard, i think that thursday was perfect. having breakfast with best friend at salam. lunch with all robocon members including advisor. seeing all those members make me happy. like seriously happy because i knew they are part of my life :) i know i miss them. even the advisor was there, i kept chatting with them like months havent seen them. well, as usual, 'membebel' to them is part of myself too. hee

the happy moment stops for a while. may'10 results was officially announced on that thursday. nervous? gila kau tak takut. its all about my life kot. Alhamdulillah, the result wasn't good at all. i mean it. AT ALL. but what think that make me grateful enough is i passed signal and system. its gonna be my worst nightmare if i fail. thanks to my abang long for his strictness during revise that subject. :) have to study harder for next sem *okay, tu azam setiap sem sebenarnya* that evening, spending rest of the evening and MONEY as well at saloon with future rumate. i guess that was upag's hair-do day kot. back-to-back upag's he have to send including us. and dinner with new people.

night. meeting. its a meeting that i like. after 9 months, finally i met all the robocon seniors. well, i admit. miss to have a great conversation with frai and omar :) and now, they are back and here we are, having another GREAT conversation after a long time :) i miss ameeth too. and tipulah kan if tak nak lepak ameeth when u can be there. so, having a lepak time together with mr driver of the day, dehaq and future rumate. yeah, mamak also is another part of my life there.

as conclusion, i know that my university life consist of

FRIENDS

MAMAK

ROBOCON

SHOPPING

GOSSIP

KINTA CITY

TRAVELLING

CAR

however, the top rank is still FRIENDS.

till we meet again. gonna miss all the thing. agak terkilan since i cannot meet my abang long. he came too late. the most nice person to talk to :)

twenty-forth day ends

and

will be counting up

short but worth

(:

eighteenth day holiday

its been about 10 days i havent write anything. mungkin sibuk tolong ibu dengan paper-paper dia and aku pun tak sihat kebelakangan ni. demam panas and selesema. kalau kat utp demam aku boleh la lawan tapi bila dah kat rumah manja lebih la. hee.

taufik nak pmr esok. goodluck opik, 8A's kay? kak ain dengan kak dayah boleh dapat 9. kitorang mintak 8 je. hehe.

anyway nak tulis banyak tapi mata dah panas. i need to sleep so badan boleh kebah. goodnight :)

eighteenth day ends

and

will be counting up

miss everything

(:

eighth day holiday

fully housewife day. bangun hantar adik pergi sekolah. breakfast? setakat aku sorang makan roti pun dah kenyang. hehe. eleh, pastu sambung tidur. bangun-bangun baru la terhegeh-hegeh nak bayar bil broadband ngan credit card. zz. pukul 12 amek adik sebab pukul 12.30 ada open house. suke-suke sebab rumah tu besar, cantik. tapi takut la duduk rumah besar-besar. hee, makanan dia super duper best. main food biasa la. standard menu open house. yang best dessert dia. ad tiramisu, blueberry cheese cake, blueberry tart, fruit tart, chocolate moist cake, etc. hee, best kan? balik open house hantak si gemuk pergi sekolah agama then tidur. hee, hari ni rasa banyak sangat online and game la. tsk3. okie, nak pasang cadar. goodnite :)

eighth day ends

and

will be counting up

sleepy

(:

seventh day holiday

my housewife days begin. ibu pergi kl hari ni. so aku la yang bertanggungjawab jaga budak kecik gemuk ni hehe. sorry adik :)

7.00 hantar si gemuk pergi sekolah

8.30 hantar ibu pergi simpang renggam

9.30 sampai rumah. hasrat nak tidur semula. tiba-tiba dapat call dari mak uda ajak berbual. halamak potong stim. hehe. lepak kedai mak uda sampai pukul 11.

alih-alih dah pukul 1.30. nak kena amek si gemuk balik sekolah pulak. benda ni aku tak bagi tau siapa-siapa pun. time reverse avanza aq buleh terlanggar kancil. sumpah tak nampak. nasib baik pakcik tu baik. sorry pak cik. saya memang tak nampak. memang tak nampak. oh, mak ngah datang semalam. something happened. turun dari kereta je dia marah-marah kat driver dia. siapa tak takut kan bila tengok General Manager KPJ naik angin. driver dia pun bengap. nak pergi pontian sampai nak pusing lalu simpang renggam bagai apsal. pastu sampai 4 kali u-turn depan lorong rumah aku memang la mak ngah panas. dah jadi tak best kali ni mak ngah datang. yet she brings lot of foods. a lot. dah rasa macam duduk kat rumah dia dah. makan makanan dalam bekas. heat and reheat. huhu. anyway, thanks singgah rumah. kena tidur awal sebab nak hantar adik pergi sekolah :)

seventh day ends

and

will be counting up

don't mess with boss

(:

sixth day holiday

nothing much. sibuk kemas barang ibu nak pergi kl. tanda paper upsr. ibu tak okay sangat sebab dah tiga hari tak tidur. kesian dia. iron semua baju + tudung ibu, packing, ajar ibu guna laptop.

online. nengok tv. negngok tv. tidur. good thing is duduk rumah buat aini hamid kurang makan. seriously. hehe.

sixth day ends

and

will be counting up

sleep tight mummy

(:

fifth day holiday

late entry posts :( btw this time is the story about UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE (USS). huhu. sebenarnya aku dah pernah pergi dulu. tapi dengan family. kali ni pulak dengan kawan-kawan. yet still 2 different situation kan? kali ni sangat eksaited sebab pergi dengan kawan belajar, gaduh, main time sekolah, cik siti nasuha, classmate cik iylia, jiran kelas cik alwani, classmate forever and kawan tempat aku menangis melalak dan sebagainya, cik firdayu and cik sakinah. haha.

hee, bangun pagi-pagi pukul 5 sebab pukul 7 bas dah nak jalan. biasalah, jb-singapore kalau tak jam tipu lah kan. huhu. since pontian-jb standard aku sejam jadi kitorang bertolak pukul 6 pagi. huu, awal kan? kan? sampai tune hotel danga bay, tsk3, bas tengah tunggu kitorang rupanya. sory akak. hee.

so pukul 8.30 kitorang dah tercangak kat sentosa world resort tuh. padahal kul 10 baru bukak. zzz. dah la belum breakfast. so, ni lah kerja kitorang before pintu tu USS terbukak

cantik kan gambar ni? hee both tangan and globe :)

sueha-dayu-iylia-alwani-me

camerawoman : cik sakinah

muka nampak happy. perut bunyi siapa tau kan? esp aku la. hoho

snap here snap there oh, pintu dah bukak. line up. sebab belum pukul 10. suddenly i saw a super duper duper cute mr kungfu panda -PO! aku dah macam budak kecik. obses dengan Po yang comel sangat tuh!!

ain't Po cute?

we spent our time main, snap picture, makan, main, main hujan, snap picture lagi. heaven. kenapa? sebab waiting hour semua less than 10 minutes. paling lama nak naik jeep bodoh tu. tunggu 20 minit. pergi last time beratur sampai 2 jam. -.-

okeh, mula-mula main madagascar. boat sailing. tapi kantoi ada rail kat bawah. aku pun sibuk nak tau how they do it. :) tak pernah main sebab baru bukak. fun riding for all ages seriously. ada surprise kat dalam tu :)

then tengok 4D movies shrek. adventure bersama shrek.

makan-makan time. lapar kan tak makan dari pagi. kitorang first customer dia. since dah pernah pergi so, tau la mana gerai yang halal :) Lepas makan buat kerja gila. Mian roller coaster dia yang HUMAN (merah). The best part is bukan jerit sebab takut. Sebab kitorang naik wetride. Bijak orang tu. Dah lock kitorang kat seat baru bagitau kat luar hujan. LEBAT. sekian. roller coaster tu dha la dekat 90km/h tambah pulak dengan hujan. sakit kot air hujan tu. turun je baju tu boleh diperah-perah. well since hujan lebat, so tak leh main outdoor :(

next main high speed roller coaster kat the mummies. huhu. i like. hujan=sejuk. main dalam tu, terkurung dekat tempat berapi = free heater.

then tengok donkey show kejap sementara tunggu hujan stop and main potion spin. dah macam berdating je dok berdua dalam satu tempat sempit. hehe, children ride tapi ada kitorang kisah? main punya main, penat sangat kaki pun dah sakit. next teman sueha shopping. well, tak mampu nak beli banyak. $1=RM2.40. Tukar RM120 dapat la $50 je. Makan $20+. aini kan? asyik lapar je. nak sangat t-shirt USS kan. since sueha beli >$20 so dapat la beli a tshirt worth $43 dengan harga $12. ala sebenarnya harga tshirt tu memang $12, saje je jual mahal dapat untung *muka takpuasati*. baki beli la souvenir untuk kawan aku.

dah puas shopping, main, makan, amek gambar, so pukul 7.30 bas pun sampai and kitorang terus balik. dapat naik bas memang semua tibai tidur la kan. huhu. sebab kalau tido time dah dekat dengan tuas nanti tak best. turun naik bas check passport. zzz

anyway, its a great day. aini hamid bukannya suka bergambar sangat but with them i take a lot of picture. hee, and first time amek gambar pakai braces. i mean obviously diorang akan upload kat fb, and kawan-kawan lama tak tau pun aku pakai braces. so, kire first time la kan? hehe. till then bubye :)

fifth day ends

and

will be counting up

friends forever

(:

fourth day holiday

was going to beloved sensei's house. wuwuwu, bangun lambat. nak kena pergi bank dulu draw duit, pergi jpn amek ic. baru balik nak makan, cik nasuha call suruh amek dia. she's finally sampai pontian. alang-alang dah keluar, pergi pick up iylia sekali :) heaven. 2 kawan lama tak jumpa.

jumpa sensei sumpah rindu zaman sekolah. zaman aku jadi baik bila dalam geng baik tapi jadi nakal bila dalam geng nakal. huhu. sensei manjakan batch kitorang sangat. kenal sensei dari before dia tak ada anak sampai sekarang she have a little cute daughter. boleh nampak sensei miss us too especially bila dah berhenti kerja. respect dengan dia yang hormat kitorang. ajak makan pizza tapi bagi kitorang cawan kertas. huu, two hours full of enjoyment.

ain't she cute?

bkn senang nak bagi budak ni gelak. sejam lebih layan dia main baru boleh 'in'. huhu. baju merah tu sueha yang bawak dari jepun. comel gile yukata tu. btw, apa yang aku realize is as she grow up, we grew up older. huhu

anyway my day ended with cik alwani datang rumah bawak skin dengan dayu. biasalah, 6 orang perempuan, yang dah lama tak jumpa, bile duduk satu bilik... well anyone knows what happened then. huhu. looking forward for our next exiting day!

fourth day ends

and

will be counting up

live life ur teenage days

(:

third day holiday

huu, hari ni kena bangun pagi. ibu eksaited nak pergi nengok anak bujang dia yang sorang lagi terchenta tu kat kluang. ee, sumpah manja budak gemuk tu. aku dulu tak de pun ibu ke ayah ke yang datang. tak mintak pun. so, dengan penuh eksaited ibu pun buat la preparation nak bagi anak bujang dia ni makan.

mee goreng favourite aku

nugget yang banyak kolestrol tapi sedap. hehe

so, aku sebagai driver tak berdaftar terpaksalah drive pergi sains johor tu. sakit tangan sebenarnya. huhu, nak keluarkan tangan swipe touch n go pun sakit :( so lepas nengok budak gemuk tu ( well, tak de beza pun aku nengok dia ) kitorang pun balik sebab mak saudara ayah buat kenduri kat kampung

speaking of kampung, aku tak paham betul la orang-orang bandar yang masuk kat kampung ni. dah tau jalan kampung tu kecik, bila berselisih tu bertimbang rasa la sikit. kena la dua-dua mengalah. hamboi, ingat kau orang bandar orang lain semua kena beralah? pastu tak reti cakap terima kasih bila orang bagi jalan. kemain lagi bawak laju dalam kawasan kampung. kan dah bila aini hamid start membebel, susah nak berhenti.

tapi the saddest thing happened today is inche tom kesayangan mati petang tadi dalam pukul 5. kesian dia. lebih baik dia mati dari tanggung derita hidup. dia macam dah 'dikerjakan' dengan teruk oleh all the bad kucing jantan ( well, dah nama pun jantan kan, sama je ) sampai dubur dia macam terkoyak. then bergaduh kot sampai mulut dia luka. nak minum pun tak boleh. apa lagi makan. bagi minum pakai syringe pn dah tak boleh. thanks tom be with us for more than 3 years. take care of us especially after ayah tak ada. kitorang dah tanam tom elok-elok eh? kak ain sakit tangan pun mencangkul jugak sebab tom.

tom lagi kurus dari neh :(

so, that's the end of my inche tom's story. well, ibu still tak dapat tidur lagi. pity her. pray for her that ditarik balik hijab yg dibuka untuk dia. tangan dah sakit neh. nak rest sebab nanti nak main tangan sakit tak best. hehe. goodnight.

p/s: setakat ni dah tiga hari boleh tulis post. can i make it possible for four months? we'll see

third day ends

and

will be counting up

memory remains

(:

second day holiday

not a good day. sekian. wuwuwuwu. jatuh motor. again :(

ini skuter. sebelum jatuh la

ini skuter lepas jatuh. lebih kurang macam aku la :(

huu, sorry pak uda. tadi terlambung. tak tau kenapa. sakit. kaki dengan tangan. ingat tak nak bagitau ibu tapi bile ibu tanya kenapa tukar motor dengan pak uda, takkan nak tipu kan?

huaa.. tapi benda paling sedih ialah phone champ kesayangan aku HILANG! double sedih. serius sedih. pergi carik balik pun dah tak ada dah. :(

goodbye inche phone yang selalu jatuh.

ibu kesian nengok nasib aku yang asyik ditimpa musibah so dia dengan baik hatinya sponsored beli phone baru untuk aku. tapi ticket pergi universal bayar sendiri la. huhu. ingat nak beli phone nokia tapi puan yang sponsor cakap awak kan pakai phone touch. meh ibu ganti phone touch jugak. baik mem. huu, so inilah hasil jatuh motor tadi,

inche corby II. kaler pink tuh.

hee, pink kot. dah macam perempuan sangat. kelakar pun ada rasanya. at least better dari kuning kot. tapi yelah, dah lama guna champ rase lagi best yang lama. :( lepas jatuh tadi tidur je. terkejut kot. sincle luka sikit je prepared to have lebam. and yes. mak aih banyak benar lebam. macam mana neh. lebam lagi sakit dari luka kot :(

oh hari ni ikut ibu amek skrip upsr kat pejabat pos. meh-meh siapa yang adik-adik dia sekolah area shah alam, penang ( x sure area mana ) dengan kuching, bagi-bagi la no kod korang. hehehe. banyak tu, dapat 16 bungkusan. kira-kira 1000 skrip. banyak kan? kan?

well, sekarang baru pukul 11.40 tapi rumah dah sunyi sepi. house=sleep early. esok nak pergi sains johor. opik si gemuk tu mengada nak suruh orang datang tengok bagai. zzz.

btw, sebenarnya sangat grateful ada kawan yang always have time to hear all my story. thanks eh :) at least half of my worries dah hilang.

second day ends

and

will be counting up

be strong

(:

first day holiday

since its gonna be a four month holiday break and i know its gonna be boring without friends, i decided to do some writing. huhu. sebenarnya dah balik semalam. tapi semalam tak kira as cuti la, sebab penat drive satu hari kan? anyway the best thing happened yesterday is i met my best friend, fresh from japan. huhu

ouh well, after a long 12 hours sleeps, i started my day with mengemas semua baju2 yang dah macam orang pindah rumah je. sumpah banyak gile rupanya baju aku. lepas solat jumaat, hoyeah, back to back open house. jap berapa rumah ek? empat? lima? sebenarnya gigi aku sakit sebenarnya. baru diketatkan. tapi ibu cakap makan still macam tak ingat dunia. hee, banyak gak makan sebenarnya. awal2 lagi dah fail plan diet. zzz

baru tiga minggu tak jumpa inche tom dia dah kurus kedengking. sangat kurus. kesian dia. muka luka teruk., bile berdiri pun macam nak tumbang. dear, please eat. kak ain tak nak tengok sumthing that i love hilang lagi. even awak tu just a cat. be strong and please eat eh? stay elok-elok dalam sangkar tu so that kucing-kucing jahat tak kacau lagi :(

semalam macam ada operasi saman besar-besaran. all way to johor, polis sibuk kejar lori. masuk kl, fuh seronok abang polis keluar buku saman. and yes, i admit that i drive quite fast yesterday. 140 km/h. ngantuk sebenarnya. nak makan asam kan gigi sakit. padan muka. bila tiba-tiba ada roadblock baru nak menggelabah sampai sakit perut. haha. terfikir gak idea kalau kena tahan nak buat dialog, " encik kalau kita settle kejap lagi boleh tak. bagi saya berak dulu. sakit perut sangat neh" hehe. wondering apa la agaknya reaksi inche polis tu kan? good that aku tak kena saman. :)

tak ada benda yang best pun nak ditulis tapi nak tulis jugak sebab nak tulis. sekian

first day ends

and

will be counting up

live life

(:

quote

"apologizing doesn't mean i'm wrong and you are right or you're wrong and i'm right. it just mean to me that value of our friendship more than our ego"

i got my besties back

(:

sometime stress, tired and busy

make us forgot to smile (:

will going back home tomorrow

a week before raya

nak tulis kejap. padahal tengah bukak analog neh. haish. lagi dua hari officially kelas-kelas untuk third sem ni akan habis. kejap je dah habis sem. kejap je dah habis puasa. kejap je dah nak final. tengok neh, jadual aku yang padat untuk dua minggu terakhir ni

-mati sebelum balik rumah-

okay sebenarnya nak cakap, banyak yang berlaku in this two week. seems that i've lost one of my besties kat sini. tah, memang dia unpredictable. but that's the way he is and sebenarnya aku seronok kawan dengan dia. sebab dia rajin layan kerenah aku yang macam-macam. kaki bercerita. kaki mengadu. tapi tah, after a question being asked, aku jadi terfikir. is that mean bila kau berkawan rapat dengan seorang lelaki sebenarnya sebab dia nak usha member-member atau geng kau. okay, kalau ye that's lame. sekian. tetiba aku rasa jadi tawar hati. kenapa? tah. one quote, baiki friendship based - not because of a girl or not because you need something. after all i felt like just to make myself idle.

kthxbai