u know how is the feeling when everyone seems to blame u although they heard nothing from your side?
u know how is the feeling when everyone also being in the awkward and tense moment although it suppose to be between u and the other person?
u know how is the feeling when u are afraid to the other person just like a few people that afraid to the other person?
u know how is the feeling when u have to accept all the shoots and provoke from everyone and the other person, perhaps?
u know how is the feeling when u have to pretend nothing happened but it did happen?
i dont mind if these happens between me and the other person, but it gives impact to me when everyone who knows and 'sibuk jaga tepi kain orang' put their hands in. i'm not running from reality in fact i'm always choose to be honest to the people that close in my life. but, when i feel insecure, unsafe, afraid there will be no room for me to stand and fight for myself. cuz i just dont feel secure.
yes, i hurt the other person. yes, i dont consider the other person's feeling. yes, i'm a bad girl. yes, please put the blame on me. silakan.
i was planning to ask the other person out for breakfast last monday. but when he shows 'a word response from a question' i stopped. i'm afraid. ain is stronger to face this. if she can face a bigger musibah 3 years ago, she should be fine with this.
take a deep breath and smile :)
so long, fare thee well
the dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
so turn down this bed on stone
quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong
the long december rain is falling down
running down on streets to nowhere
music is my life you're my sweetest nightingale
but i can't hear it here no more
and i go
i go
hush now don't shake or break
words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
no matter what they do or say
lay me on the sleepy meadow by the tracks upon your face
